13.10.13

660. Life lately.

My mood swings are crazy this week! Can I still blame hormones?! 
One minute I'm on the verge of tears because my youngest is throwing anything & everything, laughing when I tell him no, and my biggest is shouting at him about it (I know he does mean well but I really hate all this shouting!) This parenting gig is HARD. Caps lock hard!! But wonderful too. Five minutes later I'm snuggled under a blanket, my baby asleep in my arms (our rough night has caught up with him & Daddy's still in bed!), a hot cup of tea (thankful for thermal cups!) & my big boy playing so nicely & quietly with his towers. He keeps sneaking over to point them out to me & whispering for high fives & kisses! Right now I feel like the luckiest person in the world. 
I think the sleep deprivation is finally getting to me. The boys have been up between 5-6 all week (mostly J but Daniel's been waking early too!) plus at least once before that (eh?!) & I have definitely been less patient than usual. The boys have been grumpy too, why won't they just sleep?! I've had way more 'I can't do this anymore!' moments than I ever have before, I really hate it. Fingers crossed J starts sleeping better, I'm thinking about being brave & cutting out night feeding completely, but I often change my mind at 2am! 
I'm trying to be happy, present & patient as much as possible. My boys are amazing kids and they deserve it. I love the moments when Joshua's asleep on my chest, or we're all having a tickle fight, or when I watch Daniel play & learn! It's the little things that make me so thankful I'm their Mama & I shouldn't let other things get me down. 
Lots of Love
Momma B
xx

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