16.10.12

391. A ramble.

Pictures taken on holiday this year. I've been waiting three months for Joshua to fit into this outfit (I bought 2-4 months in case he was born big, so it would last longer. Ironic, as now it fits the weather is too poor to wear it!) I'll match them until they tell me not to!

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These boys. My boys. They're my absolute world. Sometimes I can't believe we're been so lucky, to have been blessed with both of these wonderful lives. Sometimes they drive me mad. Sometimes Joshua cries and cries, refusing to sleep, and I don't know what to do. Sometimes Daniel whines all day & I snap at him, regretting it later. Sometimes Joshua refuses to be anywhere else but in my arms while I eat. Sometimes Daniel has to go to the toilet 25 thousand times during meals (what is up with that?!) But when they're older, and don't need me anymore? I can't even begin to think about it without welling p and pushing the thoughts to the back of my mind. I can totally live with night feeds and constant potty trips, cold dinners and eating one handed. In fact, I should enjoy it, because they're only little once and it won't last for long.

We had a tough morning. I was glad to send Daniel to pre-school. He didn't nap yesterday and it caught up with him this morning. He cried to go downstairs while I was trying to get us all ready. He cried when he was downstairs. He spent 45 minutes getting on and off the toilet while he was supposed to be eating his breakfast. He had a slice of dry toast on the way to pre. But then, he gave us kisses Goodbye and waved out the window. I was so so proud of him. I promised myself I would be more patient with him when we got home, it wasn't his fault he was tired, or that he thought he needed to go to the toilet when he didn't. I went for a run, and Joshua slept. I had a shower and lazed around until it was time to feed Joshua and then go and pick Daniel up. I was SO SO glad to pick him up. He was happy to see me, even though I'd been so terrible this morning. We wandered home, collecting leaves to put into a sensory bin with some split peas at home. I made him jam on toast, at his request, for lunch, and after his nap we went to visit Grandma, like he wanted. On our way home I thought what a good day we'd had, despite our rough start, how happy we were.

Living for the moment, because they won't last for long. Making every day count.

Lots of Love
Momma B
xxx

1 comment:

  1. That was a good ramble :) I'm scared of the time when my kids don't need me anymore. Maybe when that time comes I'll be proud of all I've done to get them to the point where they don't need me, and excited to send them on their way, but for now...tears at the thought.

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