10.12.11

175. Saturday Night.

I have had an overwhelming urge to blog today, and since I am babysitting for a friend & Zack's asleep I thought I'd take the chance. Even if there's no pictures!

I don't want this blog to portray negativity, especially about this pregnancy, but man, is it hard. I'm feeling like the worst mother and girlfriend in the world, as I'm struggling to do everyday tasks because of my morning sickness. Doing the washing, cooking dinner, even playing and interacting with my son get put on the back burner sometimes & I feel absolutely awful about it! Daniel Kyle is an absolute angel, he's always happy to play alone while I get jobs done, but I feel like I'm taking advantage of that & I feel selfish! My patience is terribly short & I often find myself snapping at him, then five seconds later feeling absolutely awful! I'm constantly telling him how amazing he is and how much I love him, but I cannot wait to feel back to my normal self so we can play properly!

I've just entered my 14th week, so keep your fingers crossed that this subsides, please! Colin has been incredibly patient with me, even though he's having to cook nearly every night, wear un-ironed shirts to work and moan one hundred times before I do any washing! He is amazing, and I don't think he knows how much I appreciate him, especially as I hardly see him (going to bed so early is putting a serious dent in our quality time).

I want to make it up to both of them, I want to be the good Mama & girlfriend I know I can be. When I'm not feeling sick it seems easy, but I know tomorrow it may not happen. Again. I will try my best to do the jobs that desperately need doing, spend some quality time with my boys, and tell them both I love them. Alot. I am so so lucky to have them both, and I want them to know that.

Morning sickness aside, I am excited about this pregnancy. I'm not sure it's fully sunk in yet, it feels different to when we had Daniel. I am trying to prepare myself, by googling double pushchairs & asking other Mama's of two for advice, but there isn't much more I can do! I bought Daniel's toddler bed the other day, I think once we get a new nursery sorted a little it will sink in more. & when we find out whether we're having a girl or a boy, that'll get me super hyped. I don't mind either way, I just can't wait to find out!

I'm feeling so much happier now I've got all that off my chest, if anyone's made it this far, bless you! I'm going to bury myself in a book, some noisy neighbours just came home & roused Zack a little, but he seems to be quiet again now. I'll text his Mama anyway, & I've got low battery so I'll have to get off this!

Lots of Love
Momma B & Babyboy
Xxx

No comments:

Post a Comment